We’ve had a few jobs in Emmett lately. It’s farther than we used to travel, but the economy and times have changed (and well drillers retire or pass away with not as many new ones to replace them). We travel further for jobs these days.
I lived in Emmett for a couple of years in the late 70s. All it took was a couple of years to both fulfill a dream and throw it away.
I was 15 when we settled into our new life “in the country” where I would start anew, have a horse farm, make some new horsey friends. I doggedly pursued that dream too.
But things quickly fell apart. I’ll never really know why I let it happen, but I changed. That change lead me to a young marriage and a teenage pregnancy (in that order). It also lead to a … bad marriage. A marriage that I was smart enough to leave before it got worse. I ended up having to give up my horses. It was time to grow up and I wasn’t in a position to include horses in that new grown-up life.
Sometimes I look back on that time with lots of regret for how horribly I had ruined it all and how deeply I had hurt my parents. My parents forgave me long long ago, but it took much longer for me to forgive myself.
Last week I found myself in my old neighborhood after dropping Jim off a few miles away from where I once lived. Instead of heading home, I decided to drive past the old homestead. Things have changed.
The farm field there to the left – it was fenced in and was part of a dairy farm when we lived there. Often the cows would escape. They once ate our entire garden…except for my dad’s hot peppers. Anyhow the cows are gone and crops are being grown now. Our old house is just on the other side of the trees. I didn’t want to stop and take pictures in front of the house. But I could see our old garage that my dad and I had converted into a little barn. It’s there close to the road!
I’m surprised it’s still standing. There was a newer garage just to the left of the barn that housed our hay, straw, and special blend of horse feed. Oh! The smell of it all was glorious! How I long to hear again the soft nicker from my horse greeting me early in the morning. Or the louder whinny of one who was a little impatient for breakfast. Oh! How I miss it all!
I turned around and drove past another time slowly with those memories, both good and bad, floating around in my head. And tears welling up and overflowing. I drove on, so many thoughts and some regrets, but a lot of good memories that I will hold onto forever. I need to hold onto those memories!
Then I came back to the road where I had dropped Jim off and he was just pulling out onto the main road to head home. I was right behind him as he drove along and then as we stopped for a train that was halted on the tracks I could see him looking into the side view mirror wondering why I was now behind him when I had dropped him off and headed home a good little while earlier.
He may have thought I stopped here for some new shoes. This place is next to a gas station in Emmett. It wasn’t around when I lived in the area.
I followed him home and thought of how I had traveled down a rough road for a time. I have regrets for some of the things that I did, but I can have no regrets for the journey itself because I ended up with blessings for which I am forever thankful. And that journey lead me to exactly where I was meant to be…