Home » A - Z Challenge » Y is for Yes

Y is for Yes

I used to be a yes-person.

I’ve said before that I did a lot of volunteering for much of what my kids were ever involved in while they were growing up. I’ve even volunteered for a few things that had nothing to do with my kids. People got to know pretty quickly that I was a yes-person. I usually didn’t mind though (even though I would complain).

I mean, I wanted to help and isn’t that why people get involved in the first place? It just kind of snowballs. You help with one project and you’re asked to help with another. When your kids are going to school and are involved in Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, band, sports, etc. (you get the picture) and you want to help those things run successfully so that your child can have fun and learn something, well then you sometimes end up being a yes-person.

From 1985 when my daughter started kindergarten till 2007 when my son (my younger of my two kids) reached his last couple of years in high school and I had been actively involved in child-centered projects, I started getting tired. I loved and will absolutely never regret the time I spent as a volunteer. I do not regret being a yes-person.

It’s just that I needed to stop being a yes-person. Which by no means doesn’t mean I now say no! I now say yes only to projects that I really want and/or need to be involved in.

Pretty much my only regret in all those years is that I gave up every hobby I had enjoyed and I’ve found it incredibly difficult to pick them back up.

Another regret is that along the way I made some friends. (I can count on one hand the number of people that I did not get along with while volunteering.) Some that would only be my friends for the duration of what we were involved in together. And some that have remained friends to this day. I regret that I’ve lost contact with some of those friends that I truly loved, but I guess they weren’t meant to be lifelong friends. I cherish the friendships that have endured.

One of the things that I cherish most is the rekindled friendship that I am enjoying through facebook of someone that I spent a few short years spending a ton of volunteer time together before she moved away. I truly believe that if we lived closer together we would be very good friends…something I think that neither of us realized all those years ago when we were yes-people together and so so busy raising our kids.

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7 thoughts on “Y is for Yes

  1. I still have to load my “N” tonight, but it’s about my seeming inability to say “No”. So I can really relate to your post.

  2. I am only on Facebook because my younger daughter insisted. How right she was! Handled properly it is lovely to be able to keep up with friends despite the miles that separate us, and I too have found one I had lost.

  3. You hit the nail on the head. Our lives have mirrored each other in so many ways. I am convinced that you and I would be spending time together every week if I had not moved. My favorite thing about FB is my connection with people from Michigan and Wisconsin. I haven’t stayed close to everyone from my “young parent” years but I cherish my friendship with you. If I ever get to Michigan I’m looking you up.

  4. I have learned over the years the “yes” people are asked to do more and more and have less and less time to devote to things that are important to them alone.

    I know there is a delicate balance that needs to be achieved between “yes” and “no,” and lucky people find that balance very early on in life. But folks like me … and maybe you … didn’t find that balance until much letter.

    In my own situation, I have swung in the opposite direction. I am more of a “no” person now, trying to focus on what I deem important. Again, this is not balanced but I am also 66 years old and I doubt I have another 66 more years left in me – so “no” is now an OK word in my book.

    At least I didn’t spend my whole life with “no” … I know a few folks like that as well.

  5. This is a great post. Good for you for recognizing that it’s time to say yet only when you want to. Facebook is great for reconnecting people. It makes my heart sing to think of all the connections of long lost friends/lovers that have been made.

    Congrats on completing a-z. 🙂

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