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Friendships

Yep. I’m still here. I’ll give no excuses. Well I did give excuses, but I decided to delete them. It doesn’t matter much, does it? Maybe no one even noticed that I didn’t write a dad-burned thing all week. ☺

I’ve been thinking about friendships lately. I don’t have a ton of friends. Certainly there’s my husband, kids, family, but other than that. Not many. Oh, I can’t forget my dog. He loves me unconditionally. He’s a friend, without a doubt.

No, this isn’t a pity party.

I don’t mind not having a large circle of friends. I cherish the ones that I have. Life has been busy for a long time and I wasn’t able (and didn’t take/have the time) to cultivate the friendships that I had. My family came first. I have no regrets but, sadly, I’ve lost touch with many of those friends.

Some of the friends that I met along the way probably weren’t really friends at all. Just acquaintances that shared a common interest or goal at the time. Sure, we run into each other here and there and we hug and make small talk, but the friendship that we once shared…it’s no longer there.

There are others whom, although we don’t see each other often enough, I still consider dear friends. I cherish the occasional lunch date that we share. I consider them to be true friends. Sometimes it’s difficult to take time out of our busy days, but we manage to do it. And we cherish those times.

There are my Laura (as in Laura Ingalls Wilder) friends. Many that I knew only through the message boards or listservs. We were finally able to meet last summer at LauraPalooza. Some I know better than others. I do love those friends. I hope they feel the same. There are also some that I’ve yet to meet. I consider them to be my friends too. It’s amazing how well you can get to know someone without ever having met. I feel such a connection to these friends.

 I also have friends that I hang onto because they’ve been there awhile. We see each other occasionally, but we really aren’t “friends” anymore. We’ve lost touch. I’m sad for that, and I have tried to rekindle those friendships to no avail. People change as they get older (me included) and I’m sure this is the case in these situations. I suppose we’ll always be “friends” because of our history, but there are those that you just tire of the drama and hurt involved. Maybe it’s time to move on…

And my blogger friends? I love you all! I’ve gotten to know many of you very well through your blogs and I know that we would be great friends in person too. Thanks for always being there!

What is a friend?

In my life, a friend is someone who is always there for you. A friend is someone who shares in your joys (even if they are a tad bit jealous) and your sorrows too. A friend is someone who, no matter how much time has gone by, you can pick up with just where you left off. A friend is someone who will do (just about ☺) anything for you and vice versa. And a friend is someone who will not take advantage of you and vice versa.

Have you ever read this book? I have loved Joan Walsh Anglund since I was a little girl.

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16 thoughts on “Friendships

  1. A lovely post and I can understand you, I believe that your experiences are happening to all of us at one point in time. The good thing about blogging is, that your followers will always wait and will be happy to read your thoughts when you are back. So, welcome back 🙂

  2. I totally agree with your post. True friendships are very rare. Sometime friendships can stand the test of time and distance. I have one or two that have. Other friends are more like occassional companions, great to spend time with, but not really meant for times when things get down and dirty.

  3. Ah, this post speaks to me, for sure….I have a lot of acquaintances, but very, very FEW that you would call "Friend". Like you, I have people that probably would be true, blue friends if I would have only taken the time to cultivate that friendship. Just about 2 months ago, I met up with a wonderful lady because her son likes my daughter – so we sat down and laid out the "rules" of when they can see each other since we live just a handful of houses away. I really truly like this woman and see that she compliments my personality and she really "likes" me too. I've wanted a good friend for a long time, so I'm trying to take the time to cultivate this friendship. Fingers crossed, I do it right :)I love you Laura, and I treasure you and your blog. I know we could be friends 🙂 Hugs and love!

  4. Very well written Laura.I have never had a ton of friends either.I recently lost my best friend that I had since I was 6,because she married and her husband does not care for me. It was an eye opening experience of how I wrapped my life around this one person who I thought of like a sister only to realize that she did not feel the same for me. I since have understood that there is lots of types of friends all around me.One might be the right one to tell one problem and the other is your strawberry-pickin' buddy;)I have learned that the important thing is to know that you are loved.Have a great weekend!!!!

  5. I think that with getting older we realize that friendship means different things. I also believe people come into and go out of our lives for specifc reasons at specific times when we needed them or they need us. Some people are better at receiving friendship than giving it. Big sigh.Maybe those are the ones that need us the most.

  6. I don't have a lot of friends either. I have one friend that been my friend for 47 years, and another that has been my very best friend for the past 12 years and that's really about it! We do a good part of our socializing with family. I do cherish my blog friends, though and would love to meet all of them some day!

  7. I consider you a friend, too!Prairie Rose, that is so hard! I always want to ask people who do those things so many questions, but never get the chance.I know I have an insane number of Facebook friends from various activities. I tell my youth kids that they will make their true friends in youth group. I came to the realization in the past month that actually for me that is one person. One guy I've known since I was three and hung out with him and his sister so often – he won't allow me to tag him in photographs! I don't have anything that's not a group shot, but I know since he's married and I'm single he doesn't believe it's appropriate to admit we are/used to be friends.I am learning that I have different friends for different things.

  8. The older I get the more selective I am about the friends I keep. The ones that aren't real friends I've slowly left and those that I cherish I work harder at our relationship. I, also, have friends that I depend on for different things. One is always supportive even if I told her I was shaving my head and moving to the south pole – she would say "go for it." But another friend will actually very logically help be make the best decisions and plans. I think I have just learned who to turn to when and hope I can fill the same needs for them.

  9. Although we have never met in person, when I speak of you, I, too, call you, Laura, one of my Laura friends. Thanks for your nice words. I feel blessed to have good friends in my life, both those I am related to and those I am not!Happy 4th of July, Patty:)

  10. Lovely and thoughtful. I've always been one to have one very close girlfriend, and a small circle I call friends. My brother and sister are always part of a crowd, and sometimes I've felt like there is something wrong with me for being different! Really good friends are a treasure. And, I noticed you'd gone missing…welcome back. 🙂

  11. I like your post..some things to ponder on my own life…I have acquaintences..no close friends anymore..as life and time have taken us different ways. I don't need to have an entourage of friends..but would like to have onereally close person to my heart…a kindred spirit to my own..I long for that…and have found some here in blogland..we will never meet, but our hearts share and I am blessed by that..hoping your day is filled with joy and blessing.

  12. When I saw how many friends my Mom has (coming to the hospital, the house, sending flowers, calling, etc.), I felt a little blue. My true friends I can count on one hand. Then there are my relatives who are also friends and my blog friends. But, as I told Joy, if I had a funeral right now, the family would be the only ones to attend. But, as I also told Joy, I CHOSE this for myself by voluntarily being a hermit and letting Norm be the social butterfly and HE will be the one with a million people at his funeral. But the true friends are the ones who count, don't they?

  13. Laura, first of all…welcome back to blogland, girl! I haven't been able to read blogs, or post on my own blog, for over a week now (too much going on lately!), but sitting here today and playing "catch up," I was wondering why I hadn't see any blog updates from you. So, see? You were definitely missed!!!Your description of your various types of friends is pretty much how I'd describe the friends in my life too–almost word for word. And I think that most people have similar stories as yours when it comes to types of friends, and durations of friendships.In the words of a Patti Loveless song: "Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same," and those lyrics are certainly true. My outlook on friends who HAVE come, ARE, and WILL come in and out of my life is to be thankful for them, no matter what depth of friendship they have provided in the past, present or future. Just try to think positively and relish in, and be thankful for, the joyous memories and blessings of friendships past; celebrate and make new memories NOW with friends you currently have; and look forward with great joy and anticipation to those friends that God will place in your life in the future. Honestly, it's all any of us can really do.I'm thankful to have met you on Blogger, Laura, and I greatly appreciate you for who you are, right now, in my life. Thanks for being such a blessing to me!!!!

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