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I miss her…

Today is the first day since my mom died that I have been home. No arrangements to take care of, no family to talk to, no place to go. My sister and her husband left to go back to their home down south this morning. The past ten days (and the days before that) since she died have been unreal…crying, grieving, planning, hugging…
The memorial service was Monday evening and then family and some friends came to our house for together time and food. Tuesday morning we buried her ashes in our father’s plot…where she wanted to be.

I think that everyone thinks that it’s just time to move on. I can’t. Not yet. All I wanted to do today was sleep. I know that’s not a good thing, but when I slept I could dream of her and she was still here and could walk and could hug me and hum a little song like she did when I was a small child.

I miss her. People say, and I agree, to take comfort in the fact that she’s not in pain anymore that she’s with our dad now. That doesn’t make it any easier though.

I miss her…

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4 thoughts on “I miss her…

  1. Your words remind me of Little House. (What else is new?) Just think of Mrs. Bradley's beautiful sad song… forgive me if I err on any of the words, just writing from memory here:Backward, turn backward, oh time in thy flight,Make me a child again just for tonight.Mother, come back from the echoless shore,Take me again to thy heart as of yore.Kiss from my forehead the furrows of careWash the few silver strands out of my hairOver my slumber your loving watch keep.Rock me to sleep, Mother, rock me to sleep.

  2. Thank you for that. How could I not have thought of it? I remember the song well, of course.Yesterday, I kept thinking that I just want to get away for a few days and that's just not possible at this time. But I kept thinking that I want to go to someplace "Laura". That she would somehow bring me comfort. The song brought me comfort. Thank you for knowing exactly what I needed.

  3. No one will ever take her place either. Enjoy your memories.I couldn't function for several months after my dad passed away. There is no pain like losing a parent. Do what you need to in order to get through this and just take your time, friend.

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