My mom passed away yesterday morning…

The last days have been a blur. Part from emotions, part from lack of sleep. My brother, daughter and I spent Saturday night at the nursing home. My sister came back from a trip she was on on Suday night and was able to be there for a couple of hours. I spent Sunday night there with her alone. I was afraid, didn’t want to be alone. I know that I could have asked and someone would have stayed, but somehow felt that this was the way it needed to be.

I only left her side when an aide or nurse came in to take care of her. The last time that I did that, early in the morning, she passed on…she waited until I was out of the room…

I called Jim and Jamie, then I called my brother and my sister. Then I called my sister who lives down south. They (except for the sister who lives far away) came and we sat with her and cried and talked and remembered. A nurse brought us coffee and tea and cookies so we had a last cup of coffee (or tea) with her. She loved a good cup of coffee.

She’s been cremated and we are having a memorial service next Monday.

The staff at the nursing home went way beyond to see that she was comfortable and that we were also. The social worker searched, begged and pleaded so that she could be moved to a private room. Hospice came in on Saturday so that she would be able to have the meds she needed to be comfortable. Apparently, we have found, the doctor feels uncomfortable upping a patient’s meds at a time like this. Hospice was there to help with that. Some of her favorite aides came to see her on Sunday to talk and hug and cry. I had a melt down there alone on Saturday morning and the nurse called the social worker right away who came in to talk to me. I could go on and on. There were a couple of bad moments, but the good so outweigh them that I was able to put them way to the back of my mind.

My own family…husband, daughter, son…were so strong for me. Jon has surprised us all with his caring just by coming and being there, no matter how uncomfortable it was for him to see her the way she was. Jamie stayed nearly all weekend making sure that we had food and drink, just being there for us and her Gigi. She was texting me Sunday night after she found out my brother had left, insisting that I let her come up and stay with me. I insisted back that I would be okay, knowing that sitting in a chair all night and going to work in the morning would be way too hard, expecially after sitting in a chair all the night before, mostly awake. I am so blessed. Seeing Jim with tears in his eyes at the hospital and nursing home…and on Sunday morning he came in and my brother decided to leave to shower and take care of some things. I would wait until he came back and then I would leave to do the same. Jim insisted that I go, that he could be there with her. When I went back, he was sitting by her bedside holding her hand…something he had done a couple of other times over the past several days. He and Jamie were the first ones to come back after she died yesterday. They must have sped (Jamie must have been driving!) because they made it very quickly knowing that I was there alone. I was grateful for that, because I was able to cry with just the two of them before my brother and sister came.

I knew this would be harder than I could imagine, but it’s even more difficult than that…


2 thoughts on “

  1. I am so sorry about the passing of your Mom…Please know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Writing is a wonderful way to use our mind when something like this happens. We can channel all the grief, sadness, uncertainty about life, and the memories into the written word. I will be thinking of you in the days coming.God Bless, misha

  2. Thank you so much, Misha. And I agree about the writing. I journaled a lot during my mom's last couple of days when I was with her. It helped me.

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