My mom is a strong woman. Her body is weak, her mind is confused, but her heart keeps her going.
Within an hour after arriving home on Tuesday, I went to see her at her nursing home. She was very confused, but alert. Every day she’s been progressively worse.
Yesterday she was agitated, calling out incoherently, but didn’t seem to know we were there, not responding to us at all. We (my brother and I, my sister is out of town) knew it wasn’t good. We left for a little while, planning to go back late afternoon/evening. Within an hour of being home, the nurse practitioner from her doctor’s office called. She said that she was deteriorating very quickly, her vitals were not good, and we should come back. We quickly went back, while getting ahold of our sisters and my kids and my nephews. The social worker that my mom knew in the other wing she was in was waiting for us. She’s so kind and compassionate.
We didn’t think she would make it through the evening. She did. At 1am, she was resting comfortably and we decided to go home for a few hours, with the promise that the nurse would call if there were any changes.
I dosed till 5:30, then got up and called the nurse. She had rested comfortably all night and had just gotten agitated, but she had given her her pain meds. I was back there before 6:30. She’s so agitated and calling out and pulling her gown and covers off. It’s hard to watch. The clinical coordinator came in very early and sat with me and asked if we would be interested in hospice. Yes. She would have the social worker take care of it. A couple of hours later the social worker (a different one than the one from yesterday) came in and we asked about it. She said that she could call, but nothing would happen till Monday or Tuesday. Huh??? We also talked about the possibility of moving her to a more private room. By the time we left, she had not started taking care of either.
I have to say that everyone (except this social worker) has gone out of their way to make sure my mom is comfortable and her needs are met. The have been extremely kind and caring to our mom and to us.
I came home and called hospice who told me that if I called her doctor and could have an order called or faxed to them, they would start this weekend. I called the doctor’s office and explained the situation. I’m hoping for hospice, but will deal without. Because she’s had so many ups and downs lately, it was hard to tell that her time was really coming. My brother said that she had many good days while I was away.
I decided that it would be important for my mom to have a priest come in, so left a message with spiritual care services at the nursing home. I can’t decide what else needs to be done. This is so hard…
I came home to shower, eat and do some paperwork, but here I am on the computer. I have to go back soon. I ask for prayers. We accept that there will be no “coming back” this time. We just want her to be comfortable…